Friday, July 11, 2014

Doodling and thinking, thinking and doodling

Got out my watercolours so I could think a little.

I'm thinking that I may have overdone it with the journal excerpts. Except I can't even tell you how fascinating I find them. I was hoping that posting them as I encountered them might help me to make sense of them and, at the same time, offer an interesting journal-related tidbit or two.

If there is one common theme I've noticed, it's how the journal keepers seem to intend for their entries to turn their inner thoughts/dialogues/narratives into tangible things. (Perhaps so that they can pick them up, take a good look at them, identify shapes and patterns, put them in order, and maybe even start to take control of them?) They talk about creating a deep old desk, a receptacle, a tablet. Days have movement, and emotions and sensations are geysers.

In my own journals and here on the blog, I often feel like I'm grasping at something I urgently need to figure out, and I can almost touch it, but not quite. Like some of the journalers in the previous posts, I hope that when I look back, it will all miraculously make sense. Sometimes, when I look back, I do see a pattern and I can start to understand why I went this way or that. Then I can evaluate whether it was a good choice and whether I can chart a better course going forward. When that happens, I feel a little less lost, I feel a sense of purpose, which is a welcome relief from the ever-present intensity of forging one's own path in the world.

So what's next? I'm not entirely sure at this moment, but I'll keep moving forward (probably with fewer quotes from old journal entries) and keep looking back for clues and good ideas and new paths.

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